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Summary:
This article is a fragment from THE PROJECT Kind

Child: a unique approach to educaton.

Educational Stories for children on environmental,
moral & creative education. Books for children.
The resources for parents and educators: the

books that prepare the children for the future,

for all problems of life that people must deal

with. Unique methodology.

Keywords:
educational stories,books for children,methodology for teachers,parents guidebook

Article Body:
How to instill confidence in children?

Fragment from the methodology of the PROJECT Kind Child:
Educational books for children: a unique approach
to Education

LESSONS ON VIRTUES
What parents should not do:
There is no set formula on how to raise children. Each child is different.

Each child is unique, so Parent’s relationships with their children are

unique. There are things which are counter productive when talking with a

child. It is question of what parents should not do under any condition.
If we want to bring up the child with a good understanding of moral values

and a good discipline, we, must first develop the child’s consciousness, to

do it’s best in the task to generate in the child’s mind the positive image

of his/her self. And we must avoid anything that can destroy this positive

image.
Unfortunately, out of ignorance, anger, annoyance, irritation and sometimes

desperation parents use lawful methods in raising their children.
As we remember the commandment ?Thou shall not sin? so too we should remember

to avoid using any of the following methods:

DO NOT MAKE NEGATIVE COMMENTS TO HUMILIATE THE
CHILD
Sometimes we question the child: “How this idea did come to your mind? Can

you do anything better?
Do you have a head on your shoulders etc? Every time we make a negative

comment to the child we erode his/her confidence.

DO NOT THREATEN
Sometimes we say: “If you do this again – you will receive from me!” Or “if

you kick your little brother, I will kick you too!” Each time when we

threaten the child, we, without realizing,
teaching him to become afraid of us or even hate us. Threats are absolutely

useless – they do not improve the behavior of the child.

DO NOT EXTORT PROMISES
The sequence of such actions at times happens to be like this: the child has

done something what he was not supposed to do. Imagine, mum tells him: ”

Please, promise me now, that you will never do it again.” In response she,

certainly, receives the promise. And half an hour later the child will repeat

the same action. Mum is offended and upset:
“You have promised! Why did you do it then? Why?”
But she does not know that a promise means nothing to a small child. The

promise, as well as the threat, is more relevant in the future. But the child

lives only in the present. If he is sensitive and conscientious, exhortation

of promises will develop in the child the own fault syndrome each time he/she

breaks the promise. If he is not sensitive, it will teach him cynicism:
when the words and reality differs from each other.

DO NOT SPONSOR UNDULY (excessively)
It belittles the child in his own eyes. Excessive trusteeship gives him the

idea, that he cannot do anything. Many parents underestimate the ability of

the child to do something independently. It is necessary to accept as the

motto: “Never do for the child what he can do for himself “.

DO NOT SPEAK TOO MUCH .
Unduly long explanations mean to the child: “You are not capable of

understanding simple things,
so listen, I shall explain to you”.

DO NOT DEMAND IMMEDIATE OBEDIENCE
Imagine your husband tells you: “Dear, leave everything and prepare for me a

cup of coffee this!” Would you like this demand? In the same way it is not

pleasant to your child for anyone
to demand things from him. We, at least, should give him in advance notice; ”

In ten-fifteen minutes we are having dinner together? We expect him to

protect a little: “Oh, mums, I’m still.
Playing!” Unconditional submission is appropriate for a puppet, but it does

not help in creation of an independent mind.

DO NOT PAMPER THE CHILD
In this case it is a question of permissiveness. The child will feel that the

parents are afraid to be firm in observance of borders, that they are afraid

to say “no”. It instills confidence in the child, that all rules are not firm

(a rubber-kind) ? they will stretch just under a little of
pressure. It can work within the home, but outside of the home bitter

disappointments await such a child. To indulge the child, you deprive him the

opportunity to grow into a person who can
adapt in any situation.

BE CONSISTENT IN YOUR RULES
For example, On Saturday mum is in a good mood and thus allows her child to

break all rules (or some of the rules). But on Monday when the child does the

same thing, she “leans on him, like a
ton of bricks (i.e. she reprimand, scorn etc).” Imagine yourself in the place

of this child. How well would you learn to drive a car, if on Monday, Tuesday

and. Thursday red light means ”

stop”, and on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday ? means ?go?? Consistency is

necessary for the child. He should know what he should expect. Confusion in

following the rules (allow this one
day and forbid the same on another day) does not promote good discipline, on

the contrary it confuses the child and he won’t know what to expect from his

parents next time.

DO NOT MORALIZE
It instills a feeling of fault in the child and helps to develop a negative

self-image. All of morals finally are reduced to one for the child: What you

have done is bad. You are bad because
you did this. How could you do such a bad thing after doing so many good ones?

Reprimanding and critisizing children on a regular basis decreases the child’

s self worth. If one were to tape all the criticism on a recorder and then

play it back
to the parents, they would be amazed. There are so many inappropriate words

and methods they use in speaking with the children! They will hear the
threats, sneers, constant grumbling, and certainly, moral lectures.

Scientifically it is proven, that under such ?strain’ the child becomes ?

disconnected’ (doesn’t pay attention anymore). It is his unique way of

defense which he quickly masters. Certainly, the child cannot
be disconnected completely and eventually feels guilty.

DO NOT DEMAND THINGS THAT IS INAPPROPRIATE FOR THE AGE OF THE CHILD
Do not expect a two-year-old child to obey the same like a five year old.
This instill in the child, feelings of hostility toward you. You demand from

him mature behavior which he is not capable of understanding. This will badly

affect the development of his
consciousness.

With respect,
Authors
www.KindBook.com

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